My eight year old brother is a pest. He is eight. He has black hair. He is not the average size of an eight year old. He is short for his age. He gets uo early on saturday mornings and wakes everyone up because the cartoons are on. On weekdays, we must make him get up to get ready for school. He always waits until the last minute to put on his cloths. When he dosent get his way, he whines until he gets it. He is a spoiled little brat. He always gets his way with our parents. This is the little boy that i have to put up with everyday. what is wrong with this paragraph?

Question

Elle Horton

English

21 November, 04:56

My eight year old brother is a pest. He is eight. He has black hair. He is not the average size of an eight year old. He is short for his age. He gets uo early on saturday mornings and wakes everyone up because the cartoons are on. On weekdays, we must make him get up to get ready for school. He always waits until the last minute to put on his cloths. When he dosent get his way, he whines until he gets it. He is a spoiled little brat. He always gets his way with our parents. This is the little boy that i have to put up with everyday. what is wrong with this paragraph?

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Answers (1)

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Levi Camacho · Answer 1

First, you might want to take some of your spelling into account, (ou, cloths). And I think the main problem with this is that there are too many short sentences. Try making compound sentences using conjunctions. It’s technically grammatically correct, and if you were to write like that on the SAT, it still technically would be counted as correct, but it’s good to get into the habit of using conjunctions when writing.