You just don't know ... You hide in this little fortress, behind wire and sandbags, and you don't ... Sometimes I want to eat this place ... I just want to swallow it and have it there inside me. That's how I feel ... I feel close to myself. When I'm out there at night ... I'm on fire almost - - - I'm burning away into nothing - - but it doesn't matter because I know exactly who I am. You can't feel like that anywhere else."