Which revision best uses dialogue to improve the sentence? "Yup, it was a big surprise," I told them. "I'm excited that my painting was selected! Especially since I felt so incompetent at the beginning and the competition was so ruthless." "Honestly, I was surprised," I told them truthfully. "The competition was ruthless, and I felt incompetent at the beginning. It's really exciting to have my painting selected!" "I'm in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on," I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition. "Did you hear?" I asked them. "My painting got selected! Exciting, right?" I smiled. "Especially given that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the competition was ruthless!"

Question

Emmett Knapp

English

3 June, 08:55

Which revision best uses dialogue to improve the sentence? "Yup, it was a big surprise," I told them. "I'm excited that my painting was selected! Especially since I felt so incompetent at the beginning and the competition was so ruthless." "Honestly, I was surprised," I told them truthfully. "The competition was ruthless, and I felt incompetent at the beginning. It's really exciting to have my painting selected!" "I'm in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little dance coming on," I said, grinning. I thought about how I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the ruthless competition. "Did you hear?" I asked them. "My painting got selected! Exciting, right?" I smiled. "Especially given that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the competition was ruthless!"

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Draven Patel · Answer 1

"Did you hear?" I asked them. "My painting got selected! Exciting, right?" I smiled. "Especially given that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the competition was ruthless!" I would say this sentence is the one that invites dialogue the most as it asks several questions like "Did you hear?" and "Exciting, right?"