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15 February, 16:03

Read the excerpt below and answer the question.

The man was nervous. He looked over the edge. The world was far below him. He tightened the straps of his parachute. The man jumped out of the plane.

In at least 100 words, rewrite the above excerpt using clauses to add variety and interest.

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Answers (2)
  1. 15 February, 16:10
    0
    His hands started to sweat. Beads of salty water ran down his forehead, running away from the fear and nervous feeling. He peeked over the edge, noticing how far the ground was below. His heart stopped, taking in the fear of falling. He tightened his hands around the thin straps of the parachute. His heart stopped and started beating quickly at the same time. His mind was in a swirl. His thoughts trying to pull himself away from the edge of the airplane. He looked at the ground one more time. He closed his eyes, hoping that it would be over soon, as he jumped out the plane.
  2. 15 February, 16:24
    0
    Michael felt so tense. He did not know if what he was about to do was the right thing. He was now hesitating on his decision to jump out of the plane. He then looked over the edge, and saw the big gap of the big empty world in which he would jump into in just a matter of seconds. What if something went wrong? He thought. He could not see people from so high up, everything looked so little and he could not even tell what was what from so high up. He was having really big second thoughts on what he was about to do. The wind was so strong, and really loud, he could feel it how it pushed him as if telling him to jump, he was so nervous that he was even thinking that the wind was talking to him. He thought. What the heck? He was already there. The pilot said that there was no turning back. He had to jump. It was now or never. He gathered his strength, he began to breathe slowly, to try to calm himself. He could feel the burning sweat falling in his eyes. He tightened multiple times the parachute, he grabbed onto the backpack as if it was the only thing in the world, pushed down on his legs, and jumped in the vast. He felt as if he weighted as much as a feather. He felt the whole world around him. He was nervous but began to feel release as he lowered down onto the ground.
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