The russian says i had gone so far that i don't

The Russian is talking about going deeper and deeper into the jungle. He continues on even though there might be consequences. That is the literal meaning. The symbolic meaning can be seen in two ways: 1. This phrase refers to his entire life and the situations he went through. After years of ups and downs, he could be rethinking some of his previous decisions. 2. This character symbolizes The Fool (harlequin) who does things naively and blindly He is aware he might be making a mistake, but still, continues.