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8 March, 09:03

Which short narrative would be the most appropriate style and tone for the personal essay section of a college application? I started volunteering at the hospital a few years ago. It's been fun. It feels like I've been chipping in at the hospital for forever and a day. It's been wicked cool. I have proffered my time and resources to the invalids for nigh on three years. It has been most diverting. Ever since my grandfather had a heart attack three summers ago, I have volunteered my afternoons and weekends at the local hospital.

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Answers (2)
  1. 8 March, 09:09
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    Ever since my grandfather had a heart attack three summers ago, I have volunteered my afternoons and weekends at the local hospital.

    Explanation:

    This would be the most appropriate style and tone for the personal essay section of a college application.
  2. 8 March, 09:27
    0
    Ever since my grandfather had a heart attack three summers ago, I have volunteered my afternoons and weekends at the local hospital.

    Explanation:

    The chosen sentence contains the most suitable language and register for a personal essay of a college application. The reason is that the vocabulary, grammar and use of words are appropriate for a formal essay, punctuation is correct, it is a complex sentence, and it does not make use of cliches or informal expressions.

    The rest of the alternatives are improper for the formality of a college admission essay since they include casual phrases, a wrong choice of words and simple sentences, which create an inappropriate use of language and syntax for the conventions of the task.
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